anxiety

if you really knew me.

you should have heard the things people shared. it was shocking. of course some of them were dumb ("i'm excited to get cheap prom photos") but the ones some people were willing to share in a stupid little game was nearly unsettling. "my parents put me on anti depressants because i cry a lot," or "i read a lot because it makes me forget how lonely i am."

right when i saw what we were doing, i could feel the pain welling up in my chest. my heart pounded, skipped a beat, pounded harder. racing. bursting. pain. skip beat, pound. POUND. POUND. POUND. faster. pound pound. faster. poundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpound. incessant. skip beat. pain. anxiety.

i wrote something down; i wanted to share. but the fear that is caused by such games, the fear it provokes in me, is unconquerable.