Impressions

The cold, hard cement was as unforgiving as the air given off by the creatures grazing over it. Disquietude sat in the mist of the fog, creeping over the courtyard to greet us, the newcomers, the ones wondering how they could survive in this new, anxious place. What would sustain us? It mirrored nothing familiar, but rather was the greatest unknown we ever knew. As the fog drifted around, I thought back to what I had been told, how I had been assured, and thought to myself, “this isn’t the same at all.”

Mom admonishes local youth;

youth doesn't understand.

The mother chastised her child for being robbed, according to several sources. "I don't know how she can be mad at me," answered the youth, in response to his mother's actions. "It isn't like i was trying to get robbed."

the incident occurred after the youth's shoes were stolen at an MxPx show at El Corazon last night. the youth was crowd surfing when someone came up, took off his shoe, and never returned it. he also lost the other shoe while in the pit, but received that one back.

"what could i do?" asked the youth, "he took my shoe off of me, and i couldn't do much about it. i was literally being carried away," he finished with a laugh.

a diligent search was staged for the missing shoe, involving a four man search party that turned up no results. the youth participated in the search party, carrying the shoe he had while shouting, "Lost shoe looking for soul mate," which, he reported, got many smiles and giggles.

"i bought my own shoes to replace them. so i don't think my mom should be mad."

"I am sorely disappointed, that you as an 18 year old man, could not have your feet firmly planted on the ground, but would allow yourself to have them stolen from right underneath you. i am immensely disappointed. stand firm. stand firm. stand firm," said the mom in an official statement.

The youth said that he enjoys being at shows, and that he had a lot of fun regardless of the incident. "i don't care if you agree with the decisions i've made; i wouldn't trade my experiences for anything."

letters to people who will never read them, pt 8

you know, he actually is quite a nice guy. i don't think that it is necessarily completely your fault that you think ill of him, but it has to do with the way he sees you too. he doesn't see anything wrong with you, he just doesn't think he has a snowball's chance of being taken seriously by someone like you, where you are.

see, its the fault of people like you. otherwise, when you asked him a question about the things he does, he might have answered in an honest way. what chance does he have of being taken seriously by someone in a position like yours? would you have taken him seriously, unlike the others before you? would you have understood, or just argued?

the way you worded the question, i could see how he would view that as a trap. maybe thats a part that you could have done better.

so, next time he is mentioned, please don't roll your eyes at the thought of him. he is a great guy, a wonderful example that i follow. and you take me seriously.

feeling important.

i helped out with more kids today. its one of my favorite things to do, even though sometimes its tiring. i just love looking at the future. the tiny, cute little future.

today, one of the little girls in the class was excited to have older kids dote on her. she spun and twirled in her dress, showing us how it would rotate, as if she were a princess. later, she asked me to read her books.

i read Go, Dog, Go! and The Kitten Book. and, for some reason, reading books to the future felt like the most important thing in the world.

adventures at market place

i was driving through the night, a dark night, the sky and moon covered by gloomy clouds, no light from the moon, just from the buildings and cars that i was driving past, wondering about where i should i go, and how i could get there. it seemed too expensive to pay for the kind of growth i wanted, but i questioned if the alternative, the cheap, quick alternative, would provide adequate (not comparable) guidance. i worried about where the money would come from for either option. and Fear rode with me, a companion on the journey.

as Fear and i discussed what i should do, i decided that i needed a distraction, so i stopped for a drink. at market place i decided that a Jones would provide me something to sip on as Fear and i worried together. but somewhere along the journey between the beverage aisle and the register, Fear was drug off, bound and gagged by a far more menacing companion, and somehow i missed the muffled screams of my old partner from behind the cereal boxes and cookies.

at the register, i stood behind some lady, and she fumbled with her wadded cash, paying for her items. she looked not too old, but worn, defeated by the few years she knew. she dropped a 20 dollar bill, it glided to the floor, completely unnoticed by her, or the man with her, who i'd assume was her husband.

as my eyes were transfixed by the bill, Greed tickled my ear with its ideas of what to do. long had my real need for money vanished from my mind, and he was all that remained. i saw it, and watched it, entertaining the ideas that Greed had. i didn't even know what i would do with it, but that i could use it. as the guy with the lady asked for cigarettes, i uttered no word, no syllable, to attract their attention to the abandoned bill. finally, as something reminded me of what was right, i said, "excuse me," but was unheard. so i stooped down, lifted the note, and handed it to the lady, saying, "i think you dropped this."

she said to her friend, "that doesn't happen every day."

i've gotten to know her

local youth gets to know girl much better.

"its weird. i knew you so well, but i never really talked to her. despite... you know."

the youth now is in a class with the girl, and notices many similarities to a friend of his.

"how could this not have worked?"

the youth and the girl have been working together on many assignments, which has led the youth to draw many comparisons between her and his friend. he finds the comparability startling.

things kids say

kid1: are you ethan's dad?
me: no, i'm not.
kid1: why not?

kid2: why are you wearing a bracelt with buttons?
me: because my friend gave it to me.
kid2: whats her name?
me: Courtney.
kid2: i don't like that name.

kid3: i'm not a big kid yet, because i don't want to be.

Good days

something in my mind rang different. the bells were struck by an old, almost forgotten clapper. a clapper that is as warm a memory as i am sitting here, drinking I Love Lemon tea. 

it doesn't sound quite right, but maybe thats part of the appeal. The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry. maybe its a mistake, something i will regret when i am your age, but i appreciate what i was given today. 

its an inspiration, a muse, and it makes me question that rebuttal you loved so much. and remember, everything is permissible. 

one last thing: are we all reading the same book?

"I want people to hear my poetry and vomit"

-David Lerner