not what i expected

meh, not feeling the news. just lame, math jokes.

i'm such a rip off of xkcd. only, they do it better.

High Fatality Rate in Lunchroom and When Skydiving

A recent study has shown that many people do not survive certain accidents.

The data, strenuously collected by a one man team, spending countless minutes searching out the Google results for the various phrases reveals that many people do not survive internet, animal, high school lunchroom, and skydiving accidents, when compared to the survival rate of car and airplane accidents.

The graph above shows the hits Google generates when the phrase "I survived an <X> accident" is typed into the search engine, the x variables being substituted into the phrase and the y axis representing the hits.

The results shows that while cars and airplanes are fairly safe, the internet, animals, the high school lunch room, and skydiving are all very dangerous.

"How many people do you know to survive an accident involving animals or a high school lunchroom?" asked the local man who recorded the data, "you are much safer driving a car or on an airplane. And don't get me started about those internet dangers."

white kids left out

In a journalism class at Washington High School, students work while listening to Pandora's online radio.

Typically, the class listens to rap/ hip hop/ and R&B styles of music, the preferred genre of most of the students, as well as the teacher.

Today, while listening to such music, a song came up, and the entire class began singing along, save the two whitest kids in the class.

"I heard the song come on," said one of the students, "and i started looking around to see if any one else wasn't singing along." the other shared the moment of confusion.

Everyone laughed when one who didn't know found the other and shouted "JP!" the student's name. everyone realized they were the only two who didn't know the song.

No Safe Place

Student bemoans having no where to go.

"It just sucks, man," the student complained, "I go here, she's there, I vent here, she hears me. What am I supposed to do?"

These complaints came on the heels of a secret grudge being leaked. Attempts were made at reconciliation, but it only made it worse.

Top Fears + quotes

The "new" top ten list of fears that plague Internet "users" is of flying, heights, clowns, "intimacy", death, rejection, people, snakes, success, and driving.

Bill Tancer conducted "his" study by analyzing the most frequently searched terms involving the phrase, "fear of..." revealing these to be the most common fears, if it is an "acceptable" assumption that people are most likely to search their own fears. 

The study devoted to "researching" the cause of fears has revealed much, and even suggests that fear may not only stem from personal trauma, but also noticing the fear in others. 

It is important to remember that "some" fears are more realistic than others.

fights

E: How did you get here?

J: my teacher showed me this website last year.

E: no, I mean, how did you get here? (Pointing at the ground).

J: oh. I drove.

E: what car?

J: my car, the one I always drive.

E: oh, cause, I like saw a car drive off, and I was like, “Oh no! His car got stolen!” I thought it might have been yours.

J: who would steal my car? (Laughing)

E: (walking away) sorry for being concerned!

J: no, Emily! I appreciate it!

E: whatever!